Saturday, May 16, 2015

What can go wrong will...

I am cursed with bad luck. For years I fought it, I worried about it and I denied it. Wasted time. The sooner you accept your fate the easier your life will be. Okay well not easy per say... but you know... at the very least you will have funny stories to tell.

I have done things like: tripped over a shoe that tears my toenail off (or a suitcase... or a curb... or the corner of my bed)- also peeled my nail polish off and my whole fingernail came with it. Cut my toe open with a chainsaw, had an asthma attack and a panic attack at the same time, broke by foot walking on a smooth surface, got my foot stuck in my bedroom wall and broke my best friends bathroom wall with my face when I slipped. Those are just a few of the funny ones.

The most annoying thing I find myself doing is falling down the stairs. (Actually the most annoying thing is locking myself out of the house, but I haven't done that yet today) I am that weird person that goes very slowly up/down stairs, maybe even sideways if they look particularly dangerous, and grip the railing as if my life depends on it. Because it does! If I don't pay very close attention I miss a stair, sometimes I can catch myself and I can 'gracefully' slide down the rest of the stairs. Sometimes it doesn't go so well and I hit my head giving myself a concussion, end up in a stupid walking boot or hit the wall so hard the doorbell chimes of my childhood home never worked again. 

So anyway...I fell down the stairs today again! I was walking out the front door of my apartment complex to walk my dog. It had been raining all night. When I took that first step it resulted in a weird splits/roll/collapse down the next three stairs and landed in a puddle...

I watch all these doctor shows and there is always a character that has this tiny minor fall and ends up with meningitis, aneurysm or something crazy! I try not to be a hypochondriac when something like this happens... but I have the luck that that would happen to me! I'm not proud to say this but I will be checking my temperature, measuring bruises and swelling for the next few days to make sure. You might think I am over reacting, but this I am the girl who literally died during a kidney stone gone wrong situation!

#gravityistheworst 

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