So... Lets talk about midlife crisis. Do you really need to be "midlife" in order to have one? Because I am 28 and I am definitely having one. For example- I am writing this in my new studio apt, all the way across the country, while ignoring the pile of homework next to me. That is right, HOMEWORK. I have lost my mind and headed back to school. I am not sure back is the right term as I have never been to traditional college. But either way I am now a Freshman in college. Living in Texas (again! What the crap!) and majoring in Biology. Also fun fact- a biology major is not an exciting major, at least not yet.
I move a lot. I have lived a lot of places, in a lot of different kinds of apartments. This one is okay. I was talking on the phone today with my best friend and was reminiscing about old/ better places when I noticed that my bedroom at my parents house was bigger then my whole apartment here! So that is a little hard to swallow. How is anyone supposed to take me seriously as an adult when my couch is next to my bed? Eh, No one took me seriously anyway. But back to the point, I have had pretty crappy apartments. I never minded because I counted it as paying my dues. This one isn't to bad but it has definitely had its uses. For instance my air conditioner didn't work for the first two weeks and the second it was fixed my oven went out. Do you know how hard it is to not have an oven? For a brand new 18 yr old straight out of mommy and daddy's house is it probably not a big deal. However I am not a brand new baby, not only do I know how to cook, I enjoy it! It has been a bit challenging. I have been living off of otterpops since I have been here so my diet has been a joke.
I have been able to take Murphy on a run every morning so there is that. I hate running, especially outside in the heat with the other people who seem to enjoy the stupid exercise, but Murphy is is not handling the change in his lifestyle well. He is used to being the center of my attention all the time and now even snuggles are limited as he does not fit between me and the laptop well. He also got very used to having another puppy around to play with all day long and now it is just him. He cries whenever I leave and breaks my heart! I am seriously considering getting him a sibling so he isn't lonely. I am not sure if I am emotionally ready for a second baby though. I go back and forth everyday. Do I want to be responsible for another life? Will Murphy feel jealous and resentful? Will I love one more then the other? All things I have to consider as a responsible puppy mommy- I may not be responsible in any other aspect of my life but I sure as heck am when is come to my little guy.
As I said before I didn't attend traditional college but I have twin cousins that did and I always thought they exaggerated how much homework they had. I distinctly remember the week before tests they would be totally preoccupied and I would think Seriously? I get it now, I was obviously being selfish wanting them to play with me instead of being prepared. After spending hours in class I get home and spend an average of 4 hours studying before calling it a night. I should be doing homework right now instead of writing, but I have been hitting the books all day long! A person can only ready about the genetic variation so much before she goes crazy! Needless to say I am exhausted. I keep waiting for me to get the hang of things and feel like I am not drowning anymore, everyday I sink a little more. How kids straight out of high school handle this I will never understand! Next week I start working and I seriously have no idea how I am going to pull both off.
I guess I should get back to the books though or I will not pass my stupid test on Monday. Wish me luck!
#collegelife #whatwasithinking #253weekstogo
Friday, September 16, 2016
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Moving on
Hello! It has been a while. For the record, I have been super busy. So what s going on with my crazy life? Long story short I had major surgery, quit my job and moved to the country.
It has been a long year, and a really rough 6 months. I was in that place that I knew something had to change but didn't want to do what needed to be done. I had been at my old company for five year. I loved that place and those people but if I had to put a smile on my face and pretend to care about the ungrateful students one more day I would scream. Don't get me wrong we did have some incredible students who worked hard and wanted to receive a great education- those students made it worth it. However the majority of the students only came to school to get a living check and believed everything that was wrong in their life was everyone else's problem.
I finally cracked and I decided it was time to move on. So I turned in my notice. with lots and lots of tears, and started down that path. With a quick diversion to get my thyroid removed (which FYI sucked big time). My last day came sooner then I thought and I spent my last day crying and saying goodbye to all my friends. Then I packed up my car and moved.
I live in a tiny little town with a population of maybe 500 people now. I spent summers here growing up so it is not like I picked some random town on the map. I have lots of family here and I am working at a restaurant while I figure out what I am going to do. So it is going to be a super crazy summer working full time but I needed the change (Every panic attack I feel coming on I just say that to myself over and over).
I am excited for my new journey, scared out of my mind but also excited. I already feel better about the change. For as much as I loved my friends at my old company I also had people that openly hated my existence and wanted me gone for years. It is exhausting always being forced to be around people who hate you so much. I went to work at least once a week thinking I would be fired that day because of someones mood. It makes you old.
Speaking of old I also had a birthday! While eating lunch with my brother he turned to me and said, "You officially old now" I replied "I think that 30 is when your officially old" he looked at me confused and said "I thought you turned 36 today". In horror I informed him I am only 28 to which he said I was still old...
So that is whats new with me. I will try to work on posting more frequently.
It has been a long year, and a really rough 6 months. I was in that place that I knew something had to change but didn't want to do what needed to be done. I had been at my old company for five year. I loved that place and those people but if I had to put a smile on my face and pretend to care about the ungrateful students one more day I would scream. Don't get me wrong we did have some incredible students who worked hard and wanted to receive a great education- those students made it worth it. However the majority of the students only came to school to get a living check and believed everything that was wrong in their life was everyone else's problem.
I finally cracked and I decided it was time to move on. So I turned in my notice. with lots and lots of tears, and started down that path. With a quick diversion to get my thyroid removed (which FYI sucked big time). My last day came sooner then I thought and I spent my last day crying and saying goodbye to all my friends. Then I packed up my car and moved.
I live in a tiny little town with a population of maybe 500 people now. I spent summers here growing up so it is not like I picked some random town on the map. I have lots of family here and I am working at a restaurant while I figure out what I am going to do. So it is going to be a super crazy summer working full time but I needed the change (Every panic attack I feel coming on I just say that to myself over and over).
I am excited for my new journey, scared out of my mind but also excited. I already feel better about the change. For as much as I loved my friends at my old company I also had people that openly hated my existence and wanted me gone for years. It is exhausting always being forced to be around people who hate you so much. I went to work at least once a week thinking I would be fired that day because of someones mood. It makes you old.
Speaking of old I also had a birthday! While eating lunch with my brother he turned to me and said, "You officially old now" I replied "I think that 30 is when your officially old" he looked at me confused and said "I thought you turned 36 today". In horror I informed him I am only 28 to which he said I was still old...
So that is whats new with me. I will try to work on posting more frequently.
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